


Erik Lehnsherr: Over Again

by IfItsWorthSavingMe



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Charles Xavier is a Sweetheart, Erik Lehnsherr Angst, Erik Lehnsherr Being an Asshole, Erik Lehnsherr Has Feelings, Erik Lehnsherr Has a Crush, F/M, Gen, Human, Hurt Erik Lehnsherr, Reader-Insert, X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014), X-Men: First Class (2011), X-men Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 05:48:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IfItsWorthSavingMe/pseuds/IfItsWorthSavingMe





	Erik Lehnsherr: Over Again

Taking one last look over at yourself, making sure your hair was in place and the makeup you had on wasn't smudged, you made your way downstairs, careful not to trip. Charles and Erik turned their attention from their chess game to you.

"Well, don't you look stunning," Charles complimented. You couldn't help but blush. "However; don't you think that dress is a bit short?"

"Charles," you playfully warned.

"Sorry, love, but when most men see a beautiful, young women with something like that on, their thoughts are rarely pure."

You heard Erik scoff in disgust. Erik didn't like you, you were human, brought in by Charles. Charles stumbled upon you one night, beat up and bloody outside a bar. You had stood up for a young mutant who had come in for a drink. Charles brought you back to the mansion until you recovered; it ended in you being asked to stay permanently. Charles enjoyed the energy you brought to the mansion and the students liked having you around even if you were simply human. Erik, however; did not, he hated humans, hated them for what they've done to mutants - therefore, hated you.

"Charles," you sighed, "He's a nice guy."

"The fellow with green scales? The one from the bar that night?" You nodded. "Yes, well, for his sake, he better be nice," Charles warned.

You sat down next to Charles, waiting for 8:30 to come, waiting for him to pick you up.

"Erik, what you say we head our for a night on the town?" Erik agreed, so that left you alone, staring at the clock - impatiently waiting.

8:30 passed, then 9:30, and by 11:00, you knew he wasn't coming. Going back upstairs, you change into sweatpants and a comfy shirt and made your way back down to sit on the couch, letting a few tears fall, not even caring that they'll mess up any of your makeup. You cursed yourself, telling yourself how stupid you were to think anyone - human or mutant - would actually be interested in you. Fiddling with the chess pieces, you jump when you hear someone come in.

Charles and Erik were back. Charles called out your named, clearly inebriated, "I didn't expect to see you home so early, if you know what I mean," he laughed, but seemed to sober up rather quick when he really had the chance to take in your appearance; clothes that were too large, hair tied up, and dried tear stains and running mascara on your cheeks. He quickly came to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "Love, what happened?"

You sniffled, "He never showed up," you mumbled. Charles ran his hand up and down your arm to try and comfort you.

Stoically, Erik threw in his two cents, "He's a mutant, you're a worthless human, what did you expect? Perhaps, it'd be best to stay in your lane when choosing future potential suitors."

"Erik, that's enough," Charles growled.

"What?" He laughed, "I'm simply stating the truth. She's not one of us. No matter how hard she tries to fit in, she never will."

"Erik," Charles warned.

"You know what, Lehnsherr?" You finally stood up and wiped away the tears, "I don't know what your problem is - aside from the obvious - but I never did anything to you. I have been nothing but nice to you since I've been here, even when you didn't deserve it. I've accepted you, I've cared about you, I stood up for you - for mutants. Not every human is the way you think. Some of us want mutants around."

"How touching," Erik sarcastically retorted, "But we don't need you to do any of that, we don't want or need some pathetic, weak humans pity. We can stand perfectly on our own without someone like you trying to be a white knight. You will never belong here. You are not wanted here."

"ERIK! THAT IS ENOUGH," Charles had enough.

Walking up to Erik, you look him dead in the eyes, "That's fine cause I never asked to be here in the first place," you whispered, shoving past him and walking out the door.

Charles pinched the bridge of his nose, "Was that really necessary?"

"Yes, she has to understand her people are the reason we have to hide."

"Don't lie to me, Erik. I can see there's more to how you treat her than just your hatred towards humanity," even though he promised not to invade people minds, he knew Erik would never tell the whole story. So, he did what he had to; placing two fingers to his temple, he closed his eyes and delved into Erik's mind. Every memory, and every thought he had; most recently of you.

His every thought, deepest desire for you, every little detail from the colors in your eyes, to the color you paint your toes. The guilt of treating you like dirt beneath his shoes, the wanting of needing to get to know you. The fear of getting to know you and then you leaving somehow, and being torn between being in a sense of love, a feeling he never thought he'd have or want again, and a sense of hatred because you're not mutant.

A war waged inside himself , a war of him not wanting to be in love, he was a death sentence for anyone who he loved, and he couldn't bear to lose you, so he chose to hate you, out of every human, the most; hoping those feelings would eventually go away. Yet part of the war was not wanting to let you go. He needed you to keep him steady, he needed you to help keep him together; from breaking anymore than he had. He needed your peace to calm the storm that was raging inside. You were his peace, you made him smile - even if you never saw it.

Charles released his hold on Erik's mind, he smiled a little. "So that's it, huh? You don't hate her. You don't even care anymore that she's human, you're just scared to get close to her."

Erik said nothing, he just stood there avoiding Charles' gaze and the conversation at hand.

"Now she's gone. Tell me, Erik, was your fear worth losing her? Was it worth never truly knowing if she felt the same?"

"You don't understand. I'm a death sentence for anyone I care for. I can't, I _won't_ lose someone else."

"We will never know the future, Erik. It's best to simply take it as it comes. If everyone were to let fear dictate what they do, nobody would be doing anything. At least go find her, bring her back inside before anything happens to her. You owe her that."

Erik's searching was nothing short of fruitless, that was until he checked in the garden - and there you were, wiping stray tears with the back if your hand and quietly sniffling as you stared at the stars. He took a seat next to you, earning a quick gaze his way followed by a scoff.

"Let me guess, Charles sent you out to find me?"

Erik's only answer was silence; you rolled your eyes.

"Figured. No way you'd come for me on your own accord. You can go and tell him I'll be back in about a half hour." You had so much more you wanted to say, your body ached for an answer, so taking a chance, you let it all out.

"I still don't know what I did to make you hate me so much," you whispered. "I know, I'm human, that's it, but you seem to treat me so much worse and I just want to know why; and why do you treat humanity so poorly? I know the things humans have done to mutants, but not everyone of us is like that. You can't just judge and eradicated a whole populous just based off the few bad ones you've encountered. These humans you hate? Some have mutant children that _need_ their parents, and some mutants have human children that _need_ them. You're recreating the very thing that tore you and your family apart when you were just a child. Erik," you pleaded, "After everything he took from you, do you really want to be like Shaw? Cause that's what you're doing. Erik, I am pleading with any shred of humanity you have left, please, you don't have to rely on us, but don't kill us."

"I hate you, I trust you know that right?" There were no emotions  in his words, like he hadn't even heard you at all. You wiped away the tears the escaped during your speech and the new ones that fell when he ignored the whole thing.

"I hate you, but not for the reason you think anymore," something in his words made you look at him, maybe it was how quiet his voice was, the slight crack that was in it, or maybe its because you could hear the build up of tears. "Yes, I hate that you're human, but that matters so little to me anymore. What I _hate_ with you is the way you make me feel. You make me feel wrong - I know I'm wrong about what I'm doing and I hate that you make me know it. I hate that you make me feels things I never wanted to again - hope, happiness, love, caring, - I don't want to care about another person, cause everyone I ever cared for ended up dying because of me," Erik turned to you, every pent up emotion he held came out in just the look in his eyes. "I'm scared because I can't lose another one, I can't lose you. I thought that if I just kept pretending I hated you, that these feeling would go away."

You felt a small smile tug at your lips. "Erik, no matter how hard you try, feelings will always happen, its inevitable - and they usually come at the most inopportune time, a moment when you least expect it. Ignoring them isn't going to make them go away and pretending to hate something when you don't isn't going to change your mind about not hating it. Feelings are apart of life. There's no way to get rid of them and ignoring them just builds resentment. And besides, you can't lose someone you never had."

It's almost like you could feel Erik's whole being - mind, body, and spirit - just collapse in on its self. You couldn't understand why, not until you thought back on what you said. It was the last line: _you can't lose someone you never had._ Those seven words were almost like a final blow, making him realize he just lost someone else. What's worse was that it wasn't even someone he could have in the first place - not after his treatment of you, at least he thought.

"But," you began, a smile stretching across your lips as you looked at him, "Maybe, _just maybe,_ a certain weak, worthless, pathetic human shares that same soft spot for a certain metal controller," still smiling as you nudged him in the ribs softly. "And maybe, if you're willing, and we can start this over again, one step at a time, you'll find that not everything leaves, and that caring for someone doesn't always end in disaster." 

Erik smiled, a genuine smile that was your first time seeing. Finally getting to see that side of him brought out an even bigger smile than you had on. Just knowing that for once, he might feel okay was enough to make you feel on cloud nine.

"I'd like that," Erik whispered.

A comfortable silence fell between you two as you watched the stars and Erik watched you, a small smiled etched on his face. After what seemed like an hour, you noticed a hand extended towards you.

"Erik Lehnsherr, pleased to meet you."

You smiled, extending your hand to shake it. "(Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), pleased to meet you."

Letting go, you noticed him look back at the mansion, you deducted Charles must be talking to him.

"Mind if I walk you home?" His smile was still there.

Giving him a shy smile, you link your arm with his, "Not at all."


End file.
